a lover's plight

this is going to hurt me a whole lot more than it is going to hurt you.

dilemma is sort of a catalyst in the common american life. or maybe better stated, dilemma is a fuel for the american boy. and he seeks it out sub-consciously, and fills his life with it, and situations that possess a higher likelihood to be purveyors of said "static", in the near future. blah blah blah. this blog is no different. the lack of an agenda, if thats even of any truth, is an agenda in and of itself.

i was speaking with a lovely young women who is a friend of mine, and she mentioned a fimiliar quote to me, that pretty much put me into tailspin of urgency to find a meaning for this and to define that. shit, this sounds so stupid. sorry, i am almost done. anyhow, the quote was this, "writing about music is like dancing about architecture." its quite famous, and somewhat controversial, parttly because no one seems to be sure who said it, but most likely because of its succinct, and profound nature. this reminded me, as many of my conversations with this friend do, that i lie to myself constantly. she is a "no-bullshit," type of person, and i love her for that immensely.

i am wasting my time. i am debasing, and cheapening the art that i depend on so dearly, and love so deeply. and really, i am not sure why.

but i remembered one of the reasons that i wanted to do this, just this afternoon. let's say that i do have an agenda. and maybe that agenda is to bring to you and friends, and others, a different perspective. being a music and art fanatic, is to be open and closed all at once. so maybe i want to establish a rapport, or a relationship if you will, with you so you will trust me when i bring you things that you are unsure of, or maybe just would be closed off to normally. and i know that we have not been speaking long now, but i need to begin that aspect of this immediately for my own selfish reasons. and i don't care if it was elvis costello, or frank zappa, or john cage, or charles mingus, or miles davis, or monk, or burroughs, or martin mull, or who ever the fuck you choose to believe said that. its true. but if everyone in the world gave up on doing anything that seemed, on the surface, to be fruitless and illogical, we would soon have no new albums to discuss and enjoy. no new paintings to absorb, no new books to run to, no films to let wash over us.

being a musician, i have come to realize that recording music, is just as moronic as writing about it. making and playing music, that is the key. to record it is to commit it to a permanance that removes from it the ability to grow and age and change. a permanance that sterilizes and controls, and confines it to one space, one emotion, or tempo, structure or key. a permanance similiar to a hunter having a taxidermist perform his awful deeds to "preserve an animal's beauty." if you must end something's life in effort to record it's virtue, than what have you really done? art should live, and life is not permanent. anyways, enough of that. i am sorry for what i have just put you through, but it was necessary.

without further ado, i bring you the unsigned/unknown division of our posts. also at this time i would like to mention that i would love to get submissions from artists of their own work, for me to listen to, and post. get a mediafire account, and send me a link, mymymanitoba@yahoo.com. with these posts i will keep the writing fairly brief. i just want folks out there to know that there is so much great art out there that is just not being promoted enough for you to come in contact with it. so, here we go.